How would you deal with my mother-in-law?

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My mother-in-law has a pet poodle that she takes with her wherever she goes – including to our home when she stays with us. Over the years I’ve had some concerns about hosting this dog in the same house as my young kids since he would display hostility toward them. So for a time, she wouldn’t visit. Now the dog is aged – blind and deaf and doesn’t react to anything – so he’s harmless as a fly but it turns out he’s incontinent. He’s been incontinent on my bedroom rug, my new berber carpet in the basement, and who knows where else. . . When I caught MIL cleaning up after him on a recent visit she told me "it’s no big deal. He does this all the time at home and I just clean it up". Now is it just me or would you not think that maybe I have some right to be upset? We are not pet owners, and if my own children had a pee on the rug I would be upset – let alone another persons’ animal!! Likewise, if one of my kids had an accident on her rug, I wouldn’t blow it off – I’d apologize and tell her I’d be sure that it wouldn’t happen again. This is causing problems for me in terms of in-law relations and with the holidays coming up and the plans to host them at my house, I’m becoming less and less hospitable and it’s affecting how I feel toward my MIL in general. How do I deal with this diplomatically?

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11 Responses to “How would you deal with my mother-in-law?”

  1. free_angel says:

    I would tell her I don’t have a dog that pisses and craps in my own house and I don’t tolerate anyone else’s dog that does. I’d tell her she needs to find another place for her dog to stay or she can stay at home with her dog. If the mother-in-law doesn’t want to have problems with me she best obey my rules in MY house.

  2. Praise jebus says:

    Tina, First Take that sick out of your a$$.. and stop b*Chin, it’s just a Rug and can be replace
    but your MIL can not! move on and deal with it.. people like you make me sick!

  3. Kerbear says:

    They make doggy diapers just for that reason – tell her to bring them and use them at your house or the dog is not welcome. I rescue old dogs that no one else wants and know what that can do to your house – Jefferspets or Drs. Foster and Smith have them online, but you can also get them in other stores. I understand how she feels about her dog, but I REALLY understand how you feel, too – Perhaps you can buy some for her dog as a Christmas present?:)

  4. please try again says:

    Suggest she keep it in a carrier kennel while she is there? That sounds like a reasonable enough solution. If she can’t agree to that, you may have to be the ass and put your foot down about her bringing the dog. I know that you probably don’t want to do that, but by allowing her to continue this (especially if she knows it bothers you), then you may as well say nothing at all and tolerate it. It’s like saying "I really kinda don’t like that and wish you kinda wouldn’t bring the dog or allow it to mess up my expensive carpet". That’s not the same as saying "Hey, this is intolerable. Here’s my solution…"

  5. Shar B says:

    Call your local veterinarian for suggestions. The dog could be placed in a doggie cage with blankets from home so that he would feel comfortable, along with a few of his toys. They might just have doggie incontinent diapers too; your vet could tell you. Anyways, because of his age, he probably doesn’t have long on this earth, if that’s any consolation. But, anyways, call the vet. He can probably offer some great ideas.

  6. rpetch007 says:

    well its so easy // just say the dog stays outside if you dont like it to bad …

  7. Trisha M says:

    I just want to strangle people that must take their dog with them everywhere! I would fume over this as I am not a dog person and I surely don’t want someone else’s dog soiling my things. I’m a rather nice person but I would have to put my foot down on this one. Have her or your husband get one of those play yards for children and set it up in the basement, garage, deck etc. and put your MIL in it. (Just Kidding!) if she absolutely must bring the pooch. Otherwise, the dog must stay home.

  8. V B says:

    Is there a room you can gate off where little Fido can stay? Maybe for good measure you can get a few little doggie things like a bed, some treats and a toy… all to be kept in that little area.

    Good luck! I have the same issues with my own mom. At least I can tell her what I really think and it’s fine because she is MY mom. With a MIL, its totally different!

  9. oogabooga37 says:

    An animal peeing on your rug is not a tolerable situation. I wouldn’t let such a wretched creature into my house.

  10. Curious in Seattle says:

    Have your husband do the diplomatic talking to his mother. Good luck!

  11. Daisy says:

    Tell your husband to handle it. Anything YOU say will not be taken seriously. That’s just one of the many joys of being a daughter-in-law 🙂

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